The other night, I arrived at a restaurant 15 minutes before some of my girlfriends, and I was self conscience sitting at a booth solo. Dining alone is hard to do.
You can feel exposed, like you have no armor, which often results in diving into the comfort of your phone.
I was incredibly relieved when my girlfriends showed up, but I think I also needed the reminder that it is totally ok to dine alone! Some of my favorite experiences around food have been when I’ve taken myself out for a “single girl dinner date,” sat at the bar, ordered what I wanted, taken in the scene and just let myself people watch.
I majored in psychology because I find people fascinating. I think I just worry I might stare too long when I’m observing others’ behavior. And sometimes I worry if people think I’m aloof when I show up somewhere by myself.
But dining out solo should be something we all challenge ourselves to on occasion. Why?
Dining by myself is a way to face fear head on, and in my case that can be people. Despite how well I hide it, I’m incredibly shy around people, especially if I’m flying solo.
I’d love to share tidbits I learned over the years that helped me become a little more at peace with being the solo single/divorced girl:
1. Ask for a seat at the bar
A bar seat is nice if you feel self-conscious about sitting at a table by yourself. If the place isn’t too busy, you can always chat with the bartender. And if it is, no one will pay much attention to the fact that you’re flying solo.
2. Bring something to read (not your phone)
If you feel uncomfortable, it can be nice to have something to fall back on to give you a little escape from your own thoughts.
3. People-watch and take in the scene
If others notice your gaze, just smile and glance away – maybe turn back to your reading material. Whatever. Don’t sweat it. Eavesdropping can also be fun when done discreetly!
4. Try not to rely on your phone
Dining out is an experience. You don’t want to miss the whole thing because your eyes are glued to your email or social media. And you definitely don’t want to talk loudly on a call. That is just not fair to your fellow diners. Yes, they’re talking loudly to each other. No, it’s not the same.
5. Relax, breathe and enjoy your meal
No one is staring at you and thinking you’re a loser. Seriously. Also, if you want to order something adventurous, this is your chance! There is no one there to judge! Go for it.
If you need help facing food fear, or creating more mindfulness around dining experiences, I am here to help.
