A bachelorette party, with male strippers, at a sport’s bar. What could go wrong? They had the best intentions when they planned it. The guest of honor worked at the bar, as did many of her friends, so the venue seemed natural. The girls would party in the main bar for a while, then move to a back room for serious dancing and to await the strippers.
The regular customers loved seeing the waitresses and bartenders dressed up and rowdy, dancing and drinking. Girls started filling the back room, with the usual silliness of a bachelorette party. Penis straws appeared, as did a male blow up doll wearing a leisure suit. The off-duty employees tried to move the male drinkers out of their normal seats and into the main room. Not as easy as it sounds (insert mental image of Norm from Cheers). Finally, the girls threatened to make these lawyers and construction workers dance and strip if they wanted to stay. (OK, erase the image of Norm. Yuck. But almost as bad.) They put up cardboard in the windows leading to the bar so the men couldn’t peek in.
Where do you get male strippers in Jackson? I never heard the final word on this, but the rumors said Twin Falls or Pocatello. Granted, maybe shaved and greased is the hot thing in Idaho, but they weren’t exactly incognito as they entered the establishment. The girls had missed one major logistical error. The bathrooms, where the strippers wanted to put on their costumes, were on the far side from the room where they would be dancing. Their entrance and exit would be in full view of the entire sports bar. After the usual bumping and grinding, they tried to get the bride-to-be to get down and dirty. They were now in leather g-strings, with riding crops and cat-o-nine tails. The bachelorette, too embarrassed by all of this, refused to be their vessel for body shots. Luckily, there were plenty of other well-inebriated party guests willing to dance on the bar. After the main event, these two mostly naked men made their dramatic exit. The girls hooted and cheered, and the strippers burst from the room: into the main bar.
In a bit of an anti-climax, the male patrons were amazingly well-behaved. Two sets of mostly nude butt cheeks, in latex and leather, sprinted through the room, headed for their abandoned clothing in the bathrooms across the bar. Never, ever, have you seen a room full of men so intent on watching the TVs. Not in double overtime at the Superbowl. The instant silence and side-long glances only added to the amusement of the girls next door.
The party continued the way a good party should, with the bride shaking her stuff on the bar top. The only thing that actually went wrong was when she YMCA’d into the hanging glasses above her, sending her and the glasses crashing to the floor. Luckily, with that pliability that tequila causes, she landed flat on her back and mostly bounced. We pulled a few shards of glass from her back, turned up the music and we all got onto the bar.
