Loose lips sink ships, but not restaurant staff. In that case, it builds camaraderie and gets you through the boring shifts.
Unlike an office job in which your level of professionalism is guarded from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. happy hour — where you may or may not spill some secrets under the influence of a slight buzz — restaurant workers are social creatures. Work feels like a night out and often leads into one. As soon as your cash-out is done and you’re back in street clothes, a shift drink (shifty) is odered and anything can happen.
I’m not sure alcohol is the only reason restaurant gossip is usually so juicy and abundant, but it sure doesn’t hurt matters. There’s a hierarchy of gossip that I’ve been privvy to throughout the years. The server who sleeps with the sommelier is a good one. Neither player is too high up in the management scheme of things, so it’s unlikely to cause much of an issue. If anything, it’s a lateral match, nothing to give HR a real concern.
Then there’s the bartender who starts dating the manager. That starts getting a little trickier because they’re mixing management with front of house (FOH). If the front of house staff is all friendly, then these budding relationships probably won’t stir up much, if any, controversy. It’s when the hook-ups become relationships and the perks for the server or bartneder involved with the manager start to take place that people begin to have issues. For instance, a better schedule/sections for said FOH staffer. A dirty that uniform goes unnoticed, while everyone else’s is regularly inspected under a fine-tooth comb.
There’s really not much that can be hidden among restaurant staff. Everyone talks, and there are almost zero boundaries among the FOH of a restaurant. I’m not sure why the rules are different, but they are. It’s a built-in sense of family, perhaps, providing familiarity and comfort that other coworkers just don’t have. It’s the alcohol, the late hours, the common bond of a busy night and the hustle that binds you together. So when a work relationship suffers a bump in the road, unfortunately we’re all faced with dealing with that, too.
Breakups and fights among couples as coworkers are a nightmare. Whether you want to stay neutral or not, you hear details of these people’s lives that you never wanted to, and if it’s really bad you hear them fighting at work. Calling your girlfriend “the B word” in front of all of her female coworkers and friends is certain not to win you any fans. I have to say, watching a relationship fall apart in the workplace is reinforcement enough why you never want to date in the workplace, or if you do, maintain discretion.
Not all gossip revolves around sex, believe it or not. Alcohol causes drama, too. If you’ve been in the industry long enough, chances are you have worked with a chef who has been drunk on the line. On the line means while they’re cooking and responsible for turning out dinners for the 300 guests coming through our restaurants doors that night. No server in their right mind would ever acknowledge that their boss is bombed back there, but when drunk becomes blacked-out and chef needs to be escorted out by his staff, things get sticky.
Chances are if the chef is just the chef, his or her own boss will find out soon enough and fix the situation. When the chef is also the owner though, I’d probably advise you to find a new job. Once their drinking starts affecting the food and your income, you’re doomed.
Servers have been known to work their shifts inebriated as well. Fortunately my experience with drunk servers, including myself, has only really involved a lingering buzz left over from a lazy outdoor summer lunch somewhere in town, after fishing, a fun river activity or some apres beers. I’ve never worked with an alcoholic in the FOH who put anyone in danger or caused drama, but maybe I’m just lucky. Remnants of a daytime buzz never hurt anyone on any staff I’ve been part of, but make it public or be unable to conceal your “happy” mood and you’ll likely be fired or sent home.
