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The 62 Percent: Are you a Hallmark Victim?

Sixty two percent of North Americans celebrate St. Valentine’s Day by exchanging cards, candy or a “romantic” dinner. If you’re math illiterate, that’s half of the population buying into the idea that giving a Whitman’s Sampler will get you laid. Flowers distributed on the awful holiday: 180 million Heart shaped boxes filled of corn syrup […]

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Secret Server- Staff Meal and Socialism

Greetings Servers, Kitchen Staff, Hosts, and The Like: With it being too cold to ski, go outside, or perform most basic life functions, I figured I would dig deep into my mental archive of inappropriate memories for some (your) entertainment. But after keen negotiation with some recreational plant life, I’ve found myself a bit deeper […]

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Shark Week

Welcome back to reality, Servers of the Realm. I hope Santa has treated you well. And I hope that your bank accounts and credit card balances are back to a level that can justify your financial responsibility. But, lets talk in real time.  As the Jackson Hole Airport nearly fell apart due to record- breaking delays […]

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The Secret Server — Start Believing

Start believing in SANTA!!! I am the happiest panda in the valley right now.  At this time every year, I literally feel like a kid on Christmas. And it’s not because Santa came in the form of a sweet box filled with stuff my mom bought for me at T.J. Maxx. But what I am […]

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On Vacation From People Like Me

Let me first throw a quick shout out to the lovely city of Philadelphia. If you are a foodie, this lovely city is a must stop. South Phili, my old stomping grounds, is filled with bars, taverns and hole in the wall type places with amazing, locally featured dishes and tap lists that do not […]

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Food Movements Challenge Servers

Hi, I Am Allergic To Everything. I remember as a kid there was this false idea that the food placed in front of me at any restaurant was actually healthy. And it didn’t help when my parents were aiding the poisons in my food by making me finish it. “Finish your plate kid. It’s good […]

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Hakuna Matata

Last night was busy. Surprisingly busy. Especially after cutting a server and a bartender before service. There wasn’t a push; it felt more like a continual surge from open to close. And to be honest, after seven hours of having middle aged southern woman eat out the palm of my hand, I noticed one thing. […]

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Thanks E-Harmony! You Ruined Everything

For those of us who have cursed ourselves with having cable, there is the unfortunate blessing of being forced to watch some seriously bad commercials. But never before have these advertisements had direct impact on my life until online dating. Everyone knows this particular E-Harmony commercial. It’s the commercial in which the couple is the […]

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Angry August and the Power of NO

A friend coined the phrase Angry August earlier this summer. And as much as my staff wanted to doubt her suspicions, the overwhelming feeling of pure hatred waiting hand and foot for some folks almost reached a threshold for a few colleagues recently. Day after day of order modifications, screaming kids, Diet Coke refills and […]

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Dirty Deeds

As my mother would say, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” For that reason alone I am going right to hell. With the arrival of summer goes the departure of my hygiene. Showering, socks, underwear and deodorant all go by the wayside.  My justification is that the river is my bath, socks and underwear just get […]

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Summer is Coming

I can finally say I am a local now. It has been five years since I moved to the valley, and I even tried to leave for the other side of the world only to learn that Jackson is home. But after many off-seasons, and travels abroad, returning home never felt so good. Usually this […]

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Real Life Game of Thrones

Ever think about who you were in your past life? Well, I am pretty sure if you are a waiter there is a strong possibility that you were either one or a combination of a ninja, a pirate or a prostitute. Think about it! If this was “Game of Thrones,” we would easily all be […]

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The Bitter Busser Syndrome

Medical science has no idea what I am talking about, but if you wait tables, for some time, it is an easy diagnostic: Working at a popular restaurant is a good thing if you are a waiter. Not so much if you are trying to become one. It is very easy to recognize the logjam […]

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The Man is a Genius

Many moons ago, when I was a strapping (and I mean STRAPPING) young coed in college, my student-job was to work the front desk of our athletic center and field house. And for some reason I chose to work the early morning shifts. It was probably because I was still up when the shifts started. […]

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